The Kinky Adventures of Sasuke, Shrek and Yato
by actualshrek
Summary: Shrek is the popular boy in school that all the girls love. One day BFF's Yato and Sasuke follow him home and discover that the hokage monument looks a lot like Shrek. Now they question their crush's true identity and discover the many secrets behind that 'perfect' persona of his. Tear jerking comedy with hardcore romance (if you know what i mean ;)
1. Chapter 1

"s-shrek-sama.." yato moaned

"god damn it shrek when is my turn?!" sasuke u fukin twat yato is having his diddly darn moment!

sasuke needs more patience, shrek thought

bEEEEP BEEEEEP omg wtf yato wakes up in his bed and sees angry (th:(is angry) sasuke starin at him "WHAT KIND OF GOD ARE U WE GOTTA GET TO SCHOOL"

yato is sad because its a dream but its okay he'll because mhm that ogre will be his "ok"

"kyaaaa~!" yato squealed as shrek walked through the halls "shrek sama~!"

"zoo wee mama i want some of that" sasuke moaned

"please notice me shrek-senpai! kyaaah~!" yato called.

"bitch that aint gonna work we gotta follow him home zoo wee mama"sasuke said

as they followed shrek after school yato noticed something on the hokage monument

"one rock looks like s-shrek sama.."

"y r u girls following me um CREEPY ALERT XD" shrek asked. OMG. HE. SPOTTED. THEM. *macklemore voice* whatwhatwhat

"kyaa!~ shrek sama!" yato couldnt hold his pants for even a moment. god damn.

"lemme handle dis." sasuke sighed. "SEKKI NO JUTSU!"

yukine appears in a bikini "shrek samaaaa ;)

"what a sexy sekki" shrek faints and they kidnap him

"w-what happen?" shrek wakes up in a dark room tied up

"sorry shrek senpai but we want answers"

"and ur ogre dick" god damn sasuke!

"wat do u want to know"

"WHY IS YOUR SEXY FACE BUILT HARD ON THE ROCK SHREK SENPAI"

"ya its not fair only i deserve to make you hard :("

*blushin*

shrek sama gets my heart going doki doki.. yato thought

"then WHO IS IT?" SASUKE DEMAND. HE DEMAND SO HARD THAT I USE CAPITALS.

"it is..."

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	2. Chapter 2

**thank u all for all of ur support it makes me SUUUUUPER happy :') xoxooxo 6969**

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"it is my father..."

*yato gasped*

SHrek tilts his head to the side and looks up dramatically "his name was minat**ogre**.. but i didnt know he was a father until a few years ago.."

"even though you both look aLIKE?" sasuke asked. his crush is so god damn stupid. but thats okay. because she still loves hi(s ogre dick)m.

"idk man i guess im just-" **wipes tear. **"..b-blinded by my own beauty"  


"SHREK SAMA~! _KYAAAA_~" yato squeals as he rips off his pants. gOd DaMn iT. or should i say.. YATO damn it. haha. funny joke. sasuke is cool. well deserving of shrek's ogre dick.

"yato calm the fuck down" sasuke sighed. "continue Shrek-senpai."

"ok.." shrek wiped tears and yato cried waves of fEEELings. "my father is ded but he was loved by many girls. even 2day many girls are in love with him because he is fucking hot i mean he's fucking minat**ogre** namikaze who wouldn't want a piece of that?"

"are you saying YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH YOUR FATHER?!" YATO SCREAM. HE IS SCREAMING!

"NO! HECK NO!" shrek scream. shrek's face would turn red but his face his green. so no. that didn't happen.

"okay continuing... i want my fathers will to live on. and it will. because of me i am going to make sure his will lives forever."

"wills can live?" yato ask in sasukes ear. "where does it live? shrek's asshole?"

"shhh yato its not the time to ask these questions." sasuke groaned. "but im pretty sure. his asshole is big enough."

"How would you know that?"

_"wink wonk;))" _

"are you girls listening to me?" shrek questioned. SHREK WANTS PEOPLE TO LISTEN GOD DAMN IT.

"we are listening, yeesh..." sasuke rolled eyes. "so JUST how are you going to make your fathers will 'live' on? the way you worded it was very confusing man."

"how, you ask?" shrek raised his eyebrow. "I am going to become the next h**OGRE**kage. Just like my father."

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED.**


	3. Chapter 3

yato and sasuke stare at shrek in shock. they stare at him with their mouths open wider than sasuke ego

"omg wtf makes him think he gonna become the next hogrekage?" sasuke whisper in yato ear.

"he probably did the diddly darn with his o(gre)ld man" yato nods. yato is fucking smart nerds, yato thinks as he puts on his pimp glasses

"guys u know i can hear u right?" shrek muttered

"UHHHHHHHHH" yato IS PANICKING! HE CANT LET SHREK THINK HE IS A WEIRD 4932835943898 YEAR OLD GOD!

"i got this," sasuke says. he swings his hand over shrek and grins. "ur eyebrow is so strong shrek."

"haha..i know...the girls say that all the time..." shrek smiled.

"i dont know if i can believe you." sasuke narrows his eyes. "if ur eyebrow game is strong can it lift up 50 pounds"

"um"

"do you even lift?"

"GOD DAMN IT FUCK SASUKE STOP TRYNA BEDAZZLE SHREK'S NIPPLES!" YATO IS 420 BLAZING MAD

"oh my yato you KNEW?"

"ugh sasuke i thought we were pimps for life but dis whole time uve been tryna wink ur wonks with my OGRE well lemme tell u im done with ur shit!"

"I HAVENT EVEN TAKEN A SHIT!"

"THEN TAKE ONE!"

"FINE!" sasuke pulls his pants down and takes a shit. "YOU HAPPY?"

yato runs towards the down and glares at shrek and sasuke. "it's not ogre yet." and he slams the door in their faces

"u wanna continue where we left off?" sasuke ask with a bright sparkle in his sharingan.

"i aint nailing you with that shitty ass of yours" shrek says. "besides...u should run after him"

"what? shrek sama i dont understand..."

"leave, sasuke." shrek sighs and brings his face closer into sasuke's ear. he whispers, "this is my swamp."

**TO BE CONTINUED**


End file.
